Joke Time

A short story of a Filipino boy in school.

It was the first day of school in Washington, DC and a new student named Dagohoy, the son of a Filipino immigrant, entered the fourth grade.

The teacher began, "Let's review some American history, class. Who said
'Give me liberty or give me death?'" She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Dagohoy's who had his hand up, "Patrick Henry, 1775." "Very good," said the teacher.

"Who said 'Government of the people, by the people,and for the people shall not perish from the earth'"? Again, no response except from Dagohoy:
"Abraham Lincoln, Gettysburg, 1863," he said.

The teacher snaps at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed, Dagohoy who
is new to our country knows more about our history than you do."

She hears a loud whisper from the back: "Screw the Filipinos." "Who said that?" she demanded. Dagohoy put his hand up.
"General John Pershing, Manila, 1896."

At that point, Jack, another student says, "I'm going to puke."

The teacher glares and asks, "All right! Now who said that?" Again Dagohoy answers, "George Bush, Sr. to the Japanese Prime Minister during the state dinner, Tokyo, 1991."

Now furious another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!!" Dagohoy jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher at the top of his voice,
"Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky, the Oval Office, 1997!!"

Someone shouts, "You little shit if you say anything else, I'll kill you."
Dagohoy yells, "Congressman Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, Washington, D.C., 2001!"

The teacher faints. "I'm outta here!" mutters one student as he sidles to the door.
"President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo, Baguio City, December 30, 2002!!" Dagohoy responds.

As the class gathers around her on the floor, someone says, "Oh shit, now we're really in big trouble!"
"Saddam Hussein, on the Iraq invasion, Bhagdad, May 2003!" Dagohoy bellowed.

"Now, I really have to run," Jack mutters, heading for the exit.,
"Gloria Macapagal Arroyo again, Pampanga, October 4, 2003!!!" Dagohoy shouts
triumphantly jumping with glee.

Then a burly African-American boy grabbed Dagohoy and strangled him, about to give a fistful to a frightened Dagohoy.

Then an Asian boy stood up and shouted, "Hey easy on him. I'M A FILIPINO!"
Dagohoy then blurted out before he got socked out,
"Fernando Poe, Jr. Manila, January 2004!!!


Here's another one...

A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students, the teacher asked the boy, "What is your problem?"

Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"

The Teacher had enough. She took the Boy to the principal's office.

While the boy waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he has to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed.

Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Boy: "9".

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Boy: "36".

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think this boy can go to the third-grade. "

The teacher says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions.
Can I ask him ?"

The principal and the boy both agreed.

The teacher asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
Boy: after a moment, "Legs."

Teacher : "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Boy: "Pockets."

Teacher : "What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?"
Boy: Coconut

Teacher: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, the Boy was taking charge.

Boy: Bubblegum

Teacher: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he
could stop the answer...

Boy: Shake hands

Teacher: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?
Boy: Yep.

Teacher: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Boy: Tent

Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.

The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense.

Boy: Wedding Ring

Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Boy: Nose

Teacher: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Boy: Arrow

Teacher: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?
Boy: Firetruck

Teacher: What is it that all men have one of, it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?
Boy: SURNAME

Teacher: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love?
Boy: HEART.

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher:

"SEND THIS BOY TO COLLEGE!, I GOT THE LAST TEN QUESTIONS WRONG MYSELF !"